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Description:As to whether you are gay or not, I can't be bothered to think of a witty retort to that snickering schoolboy-level question. Admittedly, the couplet has a touch of the Deepak Chopra to it, but, you know, like Jesus, I embrace all of God's children except Gillian McKeith, obviously. It's all reminiscent of Roald Dahl's The Witches, in which the eponymous witches force their squared-off feet into painful, pointed shoes to hide their evil nature from the populace. Not for the first time, one can't help but wonder if ol' Roald was trying to say something here I like to look reasonably smart but now that I am retired I don't need to wear a business suit. I've heard that only two kinds of men wear Hawaiian shirts - gay men and big, fat party animals.

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